Look, Sarah Palin
The last thing we need in the white house
Is a right wing screwball
As woefully unqualified for the presidency
As you and our current president are
I have many things to say to you,
Governator 2
The bulk of which are well, negative.
But to say that I’m holding you to an unfair standard
That I’m a hater
Or dare I say sexist

Because I think you should be properly harangued
About your record,
Your beliefs,
Your competence
(Or lack thereof)
Is an obstinate, ignorant,
And distractionary tactic
That has PR stunt scribbled in all over it
It’s okay for people to like you, sure
Even if I disagree with you on
HuntingAbortionDeathPenaltyTheEnvironmentForeignPolicyConservatismIraqIran
And John McCain

Okay, you’re a woman, we get it.
Truth of the matter is that so was Hilary Clinton
Who I respected for her intelligence, locution, experience, policies and reasoning
Irreverent of her gender
You want the American public to believe that Obama is the elite,
When your holier-than-thou perception of what being from “small-town” America
When Americans are living more than ever in cities
Your nostalgia, your praise, your mere existence on the ticket
Is giving deference to an America which, if it exists at all
Is certainly not the norm

Your high school yearbook is a veritable directory of state officials,
An example of whom, when appointed to a post overseeing 600 people
Said of his qualifications as a supervisor
“I don’t know how to supervise, but I think I’ll get someone to help me”

Your misspeak about the "bridge to nowhere" speaks directly to your character
As being shallow and willing to do whatever it takes

To keep public knowledge of your past vague

And your affiliates happy

Your apparent ignorance as to what the “Bush Doctrine” entails
May be indicative of the average American’s knowledge when put on the spot as
such
But excuse me for wanting to hold Vice-Presidential candidates to a higher
standard

What is the supreme court worth besides Roe vs. Wade anyway?

You want to talk about having not aborted your son who suffers from Down's
syndrome
Yet you oppose abortion even in cases of rape and incest
How about you call back when your child has Down's syndrome
As a result of being your father’s incestual rape induced progeny
And you vetoed funding for the special Olympics
Do you want to hunt cripples or something?

You’re a special kind of aloof
Thinking that a backyard view of Russia is some kind of qualification for foreign
diplomacy

Putin rearing his head over Alaskan airspace

Or so you say

You made the spurious claim that you're an expert on "oil and power"

Because Alaska, and I quote,  "produces nearly 20% of America's domestic supply of energy"

Er, according to the US department of energy, three and a half percent.

And as an "oil and power expert"

Alaska has an earmarks budget such as no state has ever dreamed of

An 11 billion dollar budget for just under 700,000 people?

Someone explain to me why Alaska spends the most of any state per resident in federal tax dollars?

Even with a per resident tax burden 2.5 times greater than the national average

Alaska's government is spending money on it's own citizens

And taxing the rest of us to pay for it

Just by the numbers, your state ranks first

In money received from Washington versus money sent to Washington

Alaska?
Really?

And you want to talk about pork barrel politics

Explain to the American public why after 8 years of lies and secrecy
We would want someone in the white house who elected to use her and her staff’s
personal email for government affairs so as not to be subject to subpoena?

Troopergate is just about the scariest exemplar

Of the coverup being worse than the crime

Or what about your claim of a "messed-up teleprompter" at the Republican National Convention

And having to improvise that part of your speech

The reports behind you could see it...

There was no malfunction

You must think we're stupid.

Frankly, it sounds like you consider yourself to be above the rest of us

The Sarah Palin phenomenon is a story about a person named Sarah Palin

Not the actual Governor of Alaska

How about the Republican party try to get votes with something resembling substance for once

Rather than subterfuge?

It baffles me that you've gotten away this long

Under McCain's chauvinistic protection of you from the media

Maybe you didn't say "So sambo beat the bitch!"

But the point is that it wouldn't surprise me if you had

And while Obama wasn’t referring to you when he said it
Let me preface this by saying I do
With you ethics and lack of knowledge,

Eloquence, or credentials

You’re the elitist
And pairing with John McCain only makes you more so
Stay the fuck out the white house
Because you are to maverick
As rape is to consent
As Alaska is to American
As the GOP is to change
As Obama is to sexist
As creationism is to science

As troopergate is to reformist

As Palin is to ‘more than a republican media ploy’

You can put lipstick on a barracuda,
But it still smells like fish.