Those of you who would like to insinuate that sex is overrated

Are either jealous or not doing it right

I’m not one to claim that sex is the be all, end all of great things

But in all honesty, for humans we simply must chalk up so many of life’s

Motivations and actions to sex

Why did you get all gussied up to go to the grocery store?

Why is it so important that you impress everyone?

Because in some transient way,

You expect that Kangol hat or your Bape shoes will impress someone

Enough as to convince them to sleep with you

Go ahead, make the claim that you didn’t go to the party with the desire to get laid

But let me be the first to tell you

You’re not fooling anyone when you tell me you just want to

“Meet new people”

Ha! Yeah right! You are very clearly looking for someone to boink

Give you a li’l’ somethin’ somethin’, do the nasty, bump some uglies

You get the idea

How is it that we are so sexually repressed as to hide this fact?

I’m not suggesting to be indiscriminant in your boinking practices

But simply honest as to your ultimate goals

Guys and gals, don’t get me wrong.

I’m not saying that the lovely Mister or Missus that you’re chatting up

Is secretly having sex with you in their mind

(I don’t need to say it, you already knew it)

And if we're all so aware of it

Why is sex still such a "dirty" thing?

I’m just saying that “looking for love” is a code

Sure, relationships are great,

That oh so important emotional safety net,

The whole my girlfriend/boyfriend is umpteengillion times hotter than your

Girlfriend/boyfriend aspect

And of course, best of all, having someone who actually gives a crap whether you

Took out the trash or managed to shower today

Once again, I'm not saying sex is the be-all end-all of great things

And yet, we all know the reason that you’re in this

Long term monogamous relationship

Good sex.

Would you really be there if it was off the table?

You're doing it for consistent good sex;

Sex you don’t have to dress up and go into the city for;

Sex you don’t have to lie for, sex you won’t have to regret

What if you haven’t consummated your relationship yet?

Trust me, you’re working towards it

Fast or slow, someday...

If you wanna marry him/her?

Good sex for life!

Maybe even great sex!

How else could you mark sex on a calendar

For all of our nation’s great holidays?

Saint Patrick’s day fucking, Easter fucking, Passover fucking;

Hell, do both!

Who cares if you’re now a bad jewchristian blaspheming against god?

Fuck on Washington’s birthday, fuck on labor day

Fuck on election day, Thanksgiving, Christmas

Fuck on April fools day!

Who knows what crazy fake STD scare your partner can come up with.

If you’re lucky, you might even be tricked into thinking you’re having a baby!

Get dressed up and fuck on Halloween, fuck on earth day, groundhog’s day

And President Abraham Lincoln’s birthday

And of course excessive partner gratisfying surprise kinky sex on Valentines day

Or even your birthday!

America has enough holidays, that with any luck,

You can be fucking every day of the year

And such is the nature of sex

Still think sex is overrated?

I know you want it.

Over the age of 12?

I can probably assume you’ve had it.

© 2008 Eugene Aarons-Cooke